Monthly Archives: June 2012

Beach Vacation Blunder

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So we went on a wonderful beach vacation last week, 4 days of ocean waves and family fun. It was wonderful! And unfortunately an education in vacation packing for me.

I stayed up till 3am the night before the trip. Of course I had to take care of everything for my 10-year-old and my 6 month old first. Then I started packing my clothes. I had visions of packing that amazing mix and match plans, where you take 4 pieces and get 8 fabulous outfits out of it. I did manage to create a few outfits like that. I also made sure I was packing clothes that actually fit, even though I hate what size I am right now.  I folded and rolled everything carefully to make sure nothing got wrinkled. I had even packed one daring white sundress which I planned to wear every evening. I set the bag by the door with the other bags, and dropped asleep for about 2 hours.

Morning came, we got ready, and the cab came. I took my baby girl out and put her in the cab, assuming that my son and the cab driver were putting all of our bags in the cab. When we made it to the train station, the first thing I said was, “where is the other bag?” As you must have guessed, the other bag, the one with all my clothes and my daughters clothes, as well as all my toiletries, was sitting at home beside the front door. We live an hour from the train station so there was no chance of going to get the bag.

I wasn’t going to waste any of my son’s first beach vacation worrying about that bag. So that evening, after swimming at the beach, we went walking along the strip looking in the beach shops.  There are always plenty of beach stores where you can get swimsuits, tee shirts, sundresses, and everything you need for the beach. I bought  2 sundresses and 2 tops to wear with the denim shorts I had worn on the way there. I had packed our bathing suits in another bag so we didn’t need to buy those. I also bought my daughter 2 littler beach sundresses and a onesie with dolphins on it. I had all of her sun hats so we were safe with those too. I spent approximately $200.00.

On the one hand, the shopping trip was a success. I had clothes to wear at the beach, and I had clothes for my daughter as well. My son had packed his clothes in his backpack so he didn’t need anything, a fact I pointed out to him when he complained about going shopping:). Of course it wasn’t his fault! I had just assumed that he and the cab driver had picked up all the bags.

But on the other hand, I spent way too much money. And I really hadn’t thought my purchases through. I had picked great clothes for my baby, but she could have done with one less dress.  For myself, I had bought one sundress with a small strap that tied around the neck, with a very pretty blue and turquoise on white pattern, and a round accent brooch. I had also bought a one shoulder black sundress that looked very flattering. But I forgot that I did not bring a strapless bra with me, so I had to come back the next day and spend $20.00 on a strapless bikini top, of which I bought a medium when I needed a large. I will definitely wear the sundresses here, once I do find a strapless bra that fits me.  But it must be fairly obvious that I did not think my purchases through.

I did better on the tops. We went to Walgreens, which was amazingly located right on the strip. I got the toothpaste, shampoo, etc. that I needed, once again not noticing that I could have asked at the front desk of our hotel for complimentary toiletries of every kind. But I found some “popcorn tops”, so-called because the shimmery satin-like fabric is ruched in such a way that it looks like popcorn.  They were one size fits all and cost $10.00 for 2 of them.  I ended up wearing these almost everywhere we went.

One good thing is that jewelry is really cheap at the beach. I found earrings for $6.00 and cocktail rings-one of my new favorite accessories-for $3.99. Of course these are costume pieces but that is what I would have bought at home anyway. And I bought a few clips and combs for my hair while we were at Walgreens.

I did learn a lesson about overspending, something I am almost always guilty of.  But I learned something else as well. When you have fewer choices, you spend less time choosing your clothes. In vacation mode, I wore my new things without questioning how I looked. I liked the pieces I had, and they blended together into a casual beach look without being cutesy or matchy-matchy. We didn’t have much time to do all the things we wanted to do there, so I didn’t waste time getting ready.  The result was that I wore things I liked, in outfits I felt good in, without worrying what others would think.  One teenager who rang us up when we were buying souvenirs said, “You’re a pretty hip mom.” I  took that as a great compliment.

10pm at Food Lion

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I wanted to call this post Midnight at Food Lion, but in Colonial Beach, Food Lion closes at 10:30. At least I think it’s open til 10:30.  I’ve never been there that late. To be honest, there aren’t many people out that late here. I would say they roll up the sidewalks, but we don’t really have that many sidewalks.

Welfare Chic is about high fashion for the average American.   But even the average American has to have an absolute bottom line. I consider 10:30 at Food Lion to be the absolute bottom line.  The bottom line is how you would dress when you don’t want to bother with how you look, and when you think (or hope!) no one will see you.  You   think it doesn’t matter what you wear then, when you are running out for milk or diapers. You think (or hope!) you can just kick on your flip-flops and go.  But everyone knows Murphy’s Law. And this is the perfect opportunity for the Murphy’s Law of fashion.

I don’t think Brittney Spears planned on being photographed in her pajama pants and slippers.  Wait a minute. Does Brittney Spears plan on anything? Either way, in Colonial Beach there are so few people who you can bet someone will see you at Food Lion at 10:30. And chances are, it will be the last person you want to see you there.

So how should you dress? Unfortunately, you cannot do what I used to do. You cannot just change your baggy house t-shirt to a baggy shopping t-shirt and figure no one will notice you’re not wearing a bra. Believe me, they will notice! Unless you’re an A cup. But the only women in Colonial Beach who wear A-cups are thirteen year old girls. (I’m just saying!)

So here it is, the bottom line: whatever you wear, it has to be clean. No dinner stains anywhere, not even the baby’s dinner stains. Secondly, it should go without saying that you do not wear anything that even resembles pajamas. And PLEASE, nothing with writing on your rear end. Unless you are 16, and even then that look is iffy.  If you are  like me, you may have spent years living under the big t-shirt delusion. I call it the big t-shirt delusion because too many people think they can wear a big t-shirt and hide everything.  Before you sport this look again, take a look around you at all the other women who are wearing their big t-shirts. Is their size really hidden? Do they look thinner? That’s why it’s called the big t-shirt delusion.

What you can wear is clothes that fit your body. That can be really difficult, especially if, like me, you are going to lose that 15 pounds by next week. I have tons of clothes that will fit me when I lose those extra pounds. But I don’t have much that fits me now. I don’t have enough money to buy another wardrobe. So I have bought 2 pairs of shorts that fit me now. I wear them a lot, but I can change up the outfits to make them look fresh.

So, you’re getting ready to go to Food Lion. You’ve put on your well-fitting shorts. Now you’re ready to choose a top. Personally, I like t-shirts with funny sayings. I know,  that’s probably very corny. But I like them. I have learned that I can wear them, if they fit, and if I tuck them in. The standard t-shirt really does need to be tucked in, on my body anyway. And I need a belt.  When you tuck in the shirt and put on a belt, it immediately improves the look.

If you don’t want to tuck in the shirt, that’s fine too. Just choose a simple knit top, like an empire waist top, an off the shoulder tee, or even a standard tee that is made for women and fits your shape. In that case, you can lose the belt and there is no need to tuck anything in.

When it comes to shoes, you can get away with a lot more in Colonial Beach. Here, you can wear flip-flops. It will look better if they have a flower or some rhinestones, but in a beach town flip-flops are a staple. And I read something recently in one of my favorite fashion blogs, that said that well-worn keds are always in style.  How is that for awesome?

So you are all set to run out to Food Lion for some late night ice cream or watermelon. Except for your hair…..maybe we can talk about that next time!

Smalltown Fashion

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Sometimes I feel like a translator. I read up on fashion, my latest hobby. I want to write about it, but I cannot just write about high fashion. For one thing, many writers far more talented than I are already doing that.  More importantly, Welfare Chic is intended to define fashion in a new way-to take the vast empire that is high fashion and funnel it down into our Wal-Mart and Dollar store world.

The obvious reason for this is that women like myself, who live in small towns on limited incomes, and who may be considered living in poverty, can still have fun with clothes and feel good about trying out some conservative adventures into the new fashion trends. This is a two-edged sword, actually. I, for instance, am playing with some of the new trends like mixed prints and cocktail rings. I wore a great mixed print outfit the other day, with a blue background color and a combination of large and small prints. i constructed the outfit directly from the pages of a fashion magazine.  Looking at myself in my own mirror, I thought the outfit looked pretty good. (I didn’t look good because I need to lose at least 10 pounds.) but as soon as I left the house I became uncomfortable.  I walked over to the nearest shopping center, pushing my baby daughter in her stroller. All the while I was nervous, wondering what people would think when they saw me.  By the time we reached the shopping center, I was almost unbearably self conscious.  I didn’t even go in to the nice thrift store that is my favorite shop in town. I got what we needed at the Dollar General, and then I hurried home as fast as I could.

It was a sad lesson. The truth is, a woman wearing an outfit taken from the runway, or even taken from the streets of New York City, or even taken from Washington DC which is the nearest city to us, would look ridiculous in our town. She would stand out like the proverbial sore thumb. And no matter which designer created her outfit, it just wouldn’t be appropriate here. No woman gets up in the morning and puts on her Jimmy Choo stiletto heels to walk her kids to the bustop.   We don’t carry our baby’s diapers in Hermes bags. It simply isn’t appropriate.

I said I was bringing high fashion down to our Wal-Mart and Dollar Store world, and that is what I hope  to do. In some ways, though, I am an innovator, not a translator. I have to steer left of the runway and right of the dirt road. Fashion in our small town is pretty “matchy matchy”. We wear jeans and tees for the most part. It’s a beach town, so you see plenty of cute flip-flop and lighthouse shirts. At the dollar stores in town as in the Wal-Mart in the next county, we have empire waist knit tops, off the shoulder stripe tees, and low waisted roll cuff shorts.  So my goal will be to use the raw materials available to me, from these stores and from other sources like eBay and thrift stores, to create a look that will truly be “welfare chic”.

so we’ll see if I can do it!

 

What to Wear to A Food Stamp Appeal Hearing

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This is a fashion blog, but fashion is not the most important part of today’s post.

I did choose my outfit carefully for today’s hearing. But what matters more that what I wore is the fact that the hearing happened at all. Technically, food stamps aren’t called food stamps anymore. In Virginia they are called SNAP benefits, and when you swipe your card at the store you choose EBT and then the selection that says ‘food’. I don’t know what SNAP stands for. Nor do I know what EBT stands for. What I do know is that when you get a ‘no’ answer, you should try to find the exception to the rule.

Food Stamp benefits are guided by federally determined income limits. Those benefits are based on your gross income and maximum income amount for family size. I now have a higher allotment, which means I can make more because I had a baby in December. As insane as it sounds, my food stamps (SNAP benefits) were cut off this year because my DISABILITY income is too high. If you are confused, I will say it this way: the federal government has determined that I am unable to work because I have a disability.  But, my disability income is too high for me to get food stamps. Does this make sense? It makes no sense to me.

But I did something that not enough people do: I filed an appeal.  Everyone has the right to file an appeal, but I don’t think enough people do it.  It is scarey, I know. If you’re like me, you might be afraid to appeal. The Department of Social Services is a big government office with a lot of power. To be honest, our local office called me to discourage me from filing the appeal. If I didn’t have a support worker assigned to me because of my disability, I would not have followed through on the appeal.

I won’t go into the private details. The result was that because my expenses have gone up significantly, I need to file a new application. I learned that my income limit is based on my net income not my gross income, because I have a disability. I may qualify for another exception based on my disability and my expenses. Expenses on the application means electricity, phone, water, sewer, and trash removal. I knew about electricity, phone, and water/sewer, but I had no idea about trash removal. I’m adding that in; after all, every dollar helps. The most important point here is that I would never have known any of these things if I hadn’t filed an appeal. Sometimes it’s not about winning, it’s about learning.

With that stuff out of the way, let me give a quick nod to my outfit. I always feel like I should wear rags to a social services appointment, so that they will see how poor I am. But common sense won out, and I chose a nice conservative ensemble. I wore a black and white checked skort from ebay (11.96 with free shipping).  I topped this with a $20.00 geiger sweater (apparently that’s a good label, I don’t know. The lady at the thrift store seemed impressed) and a pair of black flats from the  same thrift store, also $20.00.

So far, the outfit cost $40.00, VA sales tax of $1.60 (I think that’s wrong but it’s the best figure I have)*, plus 11.96. The total is $53.56.  But my accessories for this outfit were, in my opinion, indispenseable.

I can’t say enough about this product! As a mom of a 6 month old who is working on her first tooth, the only jewelry I feel safe wearing is teething friendly jewelry. The best of these options is, in my opinion, Chewbeads. Chewbeads are designed for babies to chew on, and they have break-away clasps in case your yanks your necklace off. (which they are gauranteed to do at least once, probably 20 times). I wore the Greenwich necklace, $36.50, and the Cornelia bracelet, $12.50.

So today’s post was more about welfare than it was about fashion.  But all in all, I thought my outfit looked pretty good. Maybe it gave me a little confidence to face up to the Department of Social Services, which is scary no matter what you’re wearing.

*I did a search on Virginia sales tax, but all I got was 4%. I am almost positive that is wrong.

fyi: http://www.chewbeads.com

 

Starting my style

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I think I started my own style of fashion when I spent a week in the hospital with pre-eclampsia.  At least, I started imagining it then. I  am a solitary soul. So it was no surprise that I wound up alone in the ER.  I had brought a book with me as usual.  But I finished reading it before I was even admitted, and with no one to visit I was dying of boredom almost before the pain meds kicked in. I’m obsessively creative, so I had to find something to do after I read all the articles. There were all those pictures, all those advertisements, and all those “style find” pages.

About a month before that hospitalization, I had turned 40. Frankly, I never thought I’d live past 30. I had been through a lot that year, not the least of which was my unplanned pregnancy and the accompanying illness.  I was afraid to be real. Writing and drawing meant being real, and i wasn’t able to face that. I was homebound on bedrest. So I ended up reading a lot of fashion magazines.  I started thinking it would be fun to dress a little better.

In my all or nothing nature, that meant dressing like the people in the magazines, incorporating my poetic, bohemian type style. I hadn’t been myself , been true to myself, in over a year. It was time.

Welcome to Welfare Chic!

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I’ve recently discovered an interest in fashion. I’m not sure why. It may be that as a 40 year old mom to a ten year old and a 6 month old, I’ve realized I don’t have many more chances to look good. For the past few years, I have been buying fashion magazines to get ideas for drawing. Over time I became interested in the fashions themselves.
Of course, the price of fashion makes it impossible for me. I said I was a single mom. What I didn’t say was that I am on disability and medicaid. For the past decade, my interest in clothes has been skanty at best. Once a month I might decide I like something, and a month or so after that I might come across something I like at the local dollar store.
In some weird way I made the progression to deciding I wanted to write about fashion. But this is not the average New York fashion. This is my impression of New York, Paris, and Milan fashion, translated into smalltown low income America.
So far, fashion has been something average Americans see on TV or in the movies. I’m sure that most women my age are entirely happy to leave it that way. Or they might be perfectly satisfied buying the new things on the racks at Walmart this season. I have always been thrilled with being able to afford the new things at walmart!!! I still am, and I’m happy shopping at thrift stores too. I like the fashion magazines, but normally their articles on ‘good deals’ are articles about where you can buy shoes for ONLY $200.00, where you can get organic tees for only $50.00, and where you can get the latest lipstick shade for $20.00.
You would also read about the trend toward mixing prints, including mixing floral prints that have no colors in common. That is a style that looks good on the magazine pages. But if you wear it in my town, people look at you funny. I did it last week, and I got some strange looks!
The point of Welfare Chic is to discover and share fashionable looks that you can afford on a low income, and that you can wear comfortably when you walk to Food Lion on Saturday with the kids.
Welfare Chic is my message to people like me, and ultimately it is about my message to myself. You can look good without spending a lot. It’s ok to be wild, to be out there. It’s even ok to be a little bit bad. Even if you’re poor. And it is always chic to be yourself.